Review: ‘Star Wars: The Acolyte’ Episode 6 – The Filibuster

 

Have you ever enjoyed a show so much that time seems to fly by and then when those credits seem to come out of no where, you were left wanting for more and the next week’s episode couldn’t get there fast enough? Well too bad! This is Disney Star Wars, baby, and they found a way to make me beg for an episode to end.  No hyperbole here, my friends. Any of the relevant scenes in this episode could have been condensed down to around 12 minutes with ease. It’s as if the writers were tasked with writing a 1,000 word essay, managed to finish their main points at 250 words, then asked ChatGPT to pad out the remaining 750.  Honestly, I don’t really know how to proceed with this review. There’s so little to grab on to. I’ll just hit a few points.

 

 

The first 12 minutes of this roughly 30 minute episode were comprised of slow camera work and characters doing things in the most sluggish way possible. OSHA wakes up in the Sith’s beach side home and we literally watch her stalk the Sith to the point where she spies on him getting naked and taking a swim. For a show touted for feminism, there sure is a lot of male eye candy. It’s the same situation when we switch to Mae. She takes her time meandering around the Jedi ship stranded in orbit over the forest planet they were just on.  Mae tries really hard not to give off evil vibes, but she’s so obvious about it that it’s groan-inducing. Anyone with half a brain could tell she’s not acting like OSHA. Sol finally stuns her and binds her up, all the while dropping hints that he too is evil. We spent 10 minutes on this stupidity. Poor Bazil. He’s probably the only heroic character in the episode as he tries to attack Mae like an Ewok, but is not nearly as effective.  

 

 

The only consistent feature of these characters is their consistent flip-flops. Just last episode, OSHA watched the Sith go “murder hobo” on her Jedi friends, but when the same Sith tries the Stockholm approach on her, through a few meaningless words, a flash of man-flesh and a bit of innuendo, she starts to question things.  Mae, however, is consistent in her evil-ness, and but is still just as inept. She had every opportunity to stab Sol, and of course never does. She could have programmed the ship to crash into the planet while she escaped in an escape pod. See? I was thinking of ways to make SOMETHING happen, while NOTHING was happening.

 

 

The entire episode was an exercise in wasting time. The establishing shots, while pretty, took up way too much time. The rocky beach aesthetic of the Sith’s cave house was pleasant, but it did give me Ahch-To vibes from The Last Jedi. Master Vernestra leads her own team to investigate the death of the other Jedi, and again the camera lingers on the dead while we hear echoes of their battle. I was half-hoping for her to put on some shades and make some sort of MCU quip, but I’m not that lucky. Instead we were treated to the first live action light saber whip, which she uses to dispatch a bug. Poor bugs.

 

For the ending, OSHA spent almost 3 minutes agonizing over putting the Sith’s helmet on, breathing heavily, and then we cut to credits. 

 

 

So the one thing we learn is that Sol is probably the main bad guy. A Sith hiding within Jedi ranks is not a new idea. The far superior Star Wars: The Old Republic pulled this plot line off far better. The episode is titled Teach/Corrupt. And unfortunately, no one was taught anything, and these consistently bad show writers already made it clear that everyone’s corrupt. I’m not getting that 30 minutes back. Now excuse me while I watch something good to wash this out of my brain. 

 

*****

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The Shark of Paper

I'm a longtime fan of quite a few geekdoms like Star Wars, Manga, Anime, and Light Novels. I'm here to share my opinions, views, and reviews on all the mediums I enjoy!

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