Victoria’s Secret Going ‘Woke For Broke’ with Megan Rapinoe, Fat & Trans Models

 

Victoria’s Secret, the decades-old sexy, fun brand, and slightly more refined than Frederick’s of Hollywood, is attempting to purposefully destroy itself by hiring an new spokesperson who also happens to be one of the most humorless and thin skinned women on the world stage today, soccer athlete Megan Rapinoe.

 

What’s her secret?

 

Rapinoe, who lacks any humor and comes across as angry and bitter, will not be alone in what can only be described as a Producers-style plot to undermine Victoria’s Secret from within. Valentina Sampaio, a male model who identifies as a woman, and plus-size model Paloma Elsesser will be among those joining Rapinoe. This year’s Christmas catalog will surely be very popular.

 

Amazing make-up work… better be careful fellas.

 

 

The Daily Mail reports:

 

Former chief executive Cynthia Fedus-Fields added that although it was ‘probably time for the Angels to go’ the brand had to find a way to ‘move forward while maintaining existing customers.’

She continued: ‘If it was a $7 billion business pre-Covid, and much of that $7billion was built on this blatant sexy approach, be careful with what you’re doing’.

 

As a result, someone in control must be plotting to short-sell the stock.

 

After a desperate and unsuccessful search by parent company L Brands to find a buyer, Victoria’s Secret is being spun off into its own company as the women’s underwear retailer seeks to rebound following a rough year in sales during the coronavirus pandemic.

 

This is not a corporate move to develop a profitable business, but is instead one to appeal to the left-wing elite, and cater to the Woke Twitterati, not the type of people who buy pricey underwear. The demo they’re chasing more commonly spends all of their money on drugs, bail, blow-up dolls, tattoos, computer games, strap-ons, and batteries.

 

And the truth of the matter is that there is no poll anywhere on earth that supports the notion that the general public is anywhere close to supporting this woke gaslighting. It’s contrary to human nature. Because, let’s face it, all except for a small handful of fetishists, no one finds fat chicks appealing. Or chicks with male parts in their pants for that matter.

 

Was that lounge chair already broken before you sat down?

 

No one in their right mind wants to think about any of this while they’re thinking about sex, and make no mistake that’s what Victoria’s Secret is selling, SEX. Their lingerie is supposed to be seductive and sex is supposed to be enjoyable and fun! But cross-dressing, obesity, resentment, and a lack of humor have just as much to do with sexy and fun as MSNBC does with actual news.

 

When the rivals of Victoria’s Secret show up to take advantage of what will be a huge market for women who aren’t out of shape, angry bitches, but more like me and my girlfriend – cool and humorous and ready to appear seductive for the partner they love.

 

This is worth sharing here…

 

And there is no way in the world that these new executives at Victoria’s Secret cannot know this, unless they are truly the most clueless executives on the planet. And since I don’t reward stupidity or woke-ness, I guess I’ll be shopping a lot more at my sleazy little second choice until this is fixed. Chunky models are fine, but don’t go full WOKE on me, Frederick’s!

 

Karina Smitt

I'm not as much of a "CoMiCs NeEd MoAr DiVeRsItY & iNcLuSiOn" advocate as my girlfriend often is, but we both love funny books, crispy bacon, straight bourbon and hip hop. Add yet, we never vote the same, so we cancel each other out... and that works perfectly in my book!

JUST KEEPING THE LIGHTS ON