This year’s Super Bowl commercials featured a brief teaser for Captain Marvel, which pitted the character, as a woman, against her male counter parts. “Further, Higher, Faster,” it proclaimed, and the internet erupted, as expected. The usual arguments resurfaced again, and those arguments should certainly be made, but as a writing and literature professor, my field of knowledge is the art and craft of storytelling. So I want to focus on the problems with the Captain Marvel promotional campaign from a storytelling perspective. And the problems are profound.