Sooooo … there was this piece of entertainment brilliance posted today: “A Gay Captain Marvel Could Be The MCU’s Biggest Statement on Diversity.” Author Renaldo Matadeen says “the Brie Larson-helmed film has opened the door for the studio to make an even bigger statement by presenting the new face of the MCU as a straight-up LGBT character.”
Y’know what? Blah blah blah. Just more of the “Let’s make a statement instead of a good film” nonsense. But as such SJW-fueled hypotheses continue to proliferate, let’s take a moment of pure of indulgence — in a bit of, well, reverse SJWism … by taking a gander at …
the hottest babes in the Marvel Cinematic Universe!
Because, after all, there’s nary anything more aesthetically pleasing to the (male) human eye than a shapely female form.
#11. Cobie Smulders (SHIELD Agent Maria Hill). You know Samuel L. Jackson — in between not giving any shits about what people think of his political views — was just tickled pink to have the stunning Smulders at his side. Also see her in: “Arrested Development,” “How I Met Your Mother.”
#10. Hannah John-Kamen (The Ghost). Although the sultry Brit was a diversity casting (the original Ghost, an Iron Man villain, was a dude), as a lesser-known baddie we really don’t care. Just look at those lips and eyes, for Heaven’s sake. Also see her in: “Black Mirror,” “Game of Thrones.”
#9. Elizabeth Olsen (Scarlet Witch). OK, her central European accent ain’t all that in the various MCU flicks, but this younger sibling of the famous Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen twins (“Full House”) is not only a stunner, but has some damn fine acting chops as well. Also see her in: Godzilla, Liberal Arts.
#8. Marisa Tomei (Aunt May). Don’t take my word for it, just ask Tony Stark his opinion of Peter Parker’s aunt. Tomei has aged VERY well, so if you had the hots for her in her heyday (arguably the 90s), you won’t be disappointed twenty-plus years later. Also see her in: My Cousin Vinny, “Seinfeld,” Untamed Heart.
#7. Evangeline Lilly (The Wasp). What better person to play opposite the goofy Paul Rudd than this exquisite Canadian former-model starlet? Also see her in: “Lost,” The Hobbit.
#6. Angela Bassett (Ramonda). The sixty-one year-old(!!) Black Panther dazzler never seems to age. She could have played T’Challa’s wife (if he was hitched, natch) and no one would have known any better. Also see her in: How Stella Got Her Groove Back, What’s Love Got to Do with It, Boyz ‘n the Hood.
#5. Natalie Portman (Jane Foster). If you can get past her wince-inducing lines in the Star Wars prequels and the cheesy “Oh. My. God!” in Thor, you can appreciate the best thing to come out of Israel this side of Gal Gadot. Also see her in: Annihilation, Black Swan, V for Vendetta.
#4. Liv Tyler (Betty Ross). The daughter of Aerosmith frontman Steven Tyler, eye candy Liv made it extremely difficult for Bruce Banner (Edward Norton) to keep his heart rate down. Also see her in: Stealing Beauty, Armageddon, Aerosmith music video “Crazy.”
#3. Scarlett Johansson (Black Widow). Tight black leather suits this perfectly shaped goddess to a tee. Just check out her introduction to the MCU in Iron Man 2. Also see her in: Lucy, Ghost in the Shell, The Spirit.
#2. Zoe Saldana (Gamora). This Latina ravisher becomes the center of attraction in whatever production she is in. Even though her part was rather small in the Bradley Cooper-helmed The Words, any scene she was in was electric. And tell me you don’t wish you were Spock in the rebooted Star Trek. Also see her in: Colombiana, Blood Ties.
#1. Hayley Atwell (Peggy Carter). This exquisite Brit gets the top spot, hands down. Only she could pull off the 1940s look in Captain America: The First Avenger, and boy did she ever. Simply put, not enough can be said about this natural beauty (check her out sans makeup if you don’t believe me), and the accent makes her all the more enticing. Also see her in: Christopher Robin, the “Black Mirror” episode “Be Right Back.”
Obviously, there are many other women in the MCU who could have made this list, and this is on white, cis-male’s opinion. So did your favorite Marvel hottie make the cut? Let me know in the comments!