Terminator: Dark Fate: WHY??? (and Other Assorted Time-Travelisms)

 

It’s no surprise that Hollywood regurgitates successful film properties to suck every last possible dollar out of them from a brain-dead public, and Terminator: Dark Fate might very well be the most recent and most pathetic example of it.

 

Disclaimer: No, I haven’t seen the new film. Universally bad reviews tend to turn me off from wanting to shell out $15 bucks just to hate something. Like, for example, “[a film] cobbled together by dunces in a last-ditch effort to wring revenue from a moribund concept” whose “plot makes no sense.”

 

Unlike the first four “Terminator” films, Dark Fate makes use of a “multiverse” time travel approach. Except then there’s that fifth film in the franchise, Genisys, which already did that!! 

 

Not THAT one!

 

Let’s face it — the franchise should have ended after T2: Judgment Day.

 

Or, Genisys should have come directly after T2 to then establish that the series utilizes a multiverse approach to time travel instead of a closed loop.

 

But hell, movies these days don’t feature a whole lot of originality.

 

Which brings me to this dolt. What’s with the rise of entertainment reviewers these days that just sound like college sophomores who are dying to try out what they just learned in postmodernist rhetoric? The dude’s bio includes the descriptors that he’s “a longtime activist” who “stands up to inequality, injustice.”

 

Noted.

 

 

Apparently seizing on Dark Fate (aka clickbait), writer Kyle Steenblik attempts to teach all of us that the original Terminator wasn’t any good either. If you can get past his god-awful math skills (he claims the film came out 25 years ago … let’s see … 2019 minus 1984 … oh, I thought it was thirty-five!) Steenblik goes on to claim that James Cameron didn’t address any “contemporary problems through allegorical metaphor” in his film.

 

Right. 1984 was at the dawn of the home computer age. Video games were exploding everywhere. And I seem to have gotten a message from the film that … technology unchecked might just become a problem … ?

 

 

The remainder of Steenblik’s thesis is a few complaints about what the flick didn’t address. Time paradoxes (did he miss Sarah’s soliloquy at the end?). Skynet not simply sending a Terminator (or some other agent) to implant an IUD in Sarah Connor without her knowledge (boy, that would make for an exciting film)! And did he also miss where Reese alluded to the fact Skynet was acting in haste with its time travel plans due to the resistance being on the verge of victory?

 

Between the new films that appallingly undermine the originals and the ignorant film critics that just want to shit on them, here’s to terminating the “Terminator” franchise for good.

 

Dave Huber

A ComicsGater long before the term ever existed, Dave is a retired teacher who now concentrates his efforts on exposing the insanity of college political correctness.