No Time to Die, will be James Bond’s 25th outing (twenty-seven if you consider David Niven’s Casino Royale and Sean Connery’s final outing in Never Say Never Again) and it has had quite a rocky journey to the big screen so far. It’s currently scheduled to be released in theaters on April 8, 2020, but originally, the film was slated for release on November 8, 2019. However, a production delay then pushed it back to a tentative February 14, 2020 release date. One more delay was implemented, putting the film in its current release slot, though it still wouldn’t be surprising if someone decided to push the film to a November release, in the name of tradition and post-production.
I’d be alright if they delayed it indefinitely at this point, and I think writer John Nolte would agree with me.
Nolte is a longtime fan of the Bond films, having first seen Diamonds are Forever in the theater 48 years ago. Now, in a recent run-down on the next Bond film, reportedly Daniel Craig’s final outing as the spy with a license to kill, this is the first time he’s ever dreaded a 007 movie.
Not only will a black woman be introduced as the new 007, Bond himself will drive an electric car and be married to a bossy feminist who refuses to take his name. The Daily Mail reports the latest Bond film, number 25, which hits the big screen in April, will have “Bond marrying Dr Madeleine Swann – the psychologist played by French actress Lea Seydoux who first appeared in 2015’s Spectre. But she refuses to take her new husband’s name.”
Dr. Madeleine Swan?
What kind of stupid name is that?
What happened to Dr. Goodhead? And if you can’t bring her back, why not Dr. Getaloadofmytatas?
Anyway, while James Cuck is being bossed around by his insufferable wife, he’ll also be driving an electric Aston Martin, the $250,000 Rapide E model, that comes with a bumper sticker that reads “I Heart Obamacare,” at least according to my sources that don’t exist.
You will also be heartened to know that no water bottles were killed during filming.
“Crew members were given reusable water bottles which they filled from taps, saving an estimated 230,000 single-use plastic water bottles,” which I’m sure offset at least one-millionth of one-percent of the carbon burned to fly hundreds of people all around the world to film this $200 million sequel.
What’s so annoying about this is the Year Zero bullshit. Just like Black Panther attempted to pretend it was the first big budget comic book movie with a black superhero (not even close), No Time to Die is pretending to be the first Bond movie with strong female characters.
That is such a lie.
A quarter of a century ago Judi Dench showed up as M in Goldeneye to attack Bond as “a misogynist dinosaur.” There was Octopussy in Octopussy 36 years ago. Mayday in A View to a Kill (1985), a strong, black woman. Michelle Yeoh was every inch Bond’s equal in Tomorrow Never Dies (1997). Sophie Marceu was a terrific villain in The World Is Not Enough (1999). Vesper Lynde (Eva Green) in Casino Royale (2006)… Come on, y’all… Stop treating us like idiots.
The idea of strong women in a James Bond movies is old enough to graduate from law school, but here we are again with this woke crap, this insufferable propaganda, where the only thing new is an off-putting, anti-male stridency that has already killed a number of franchises, including Terminator, Ghostbusters, and Men In Black.
American audiences have accepted strong, independent-minded, female protagonists going back 80 years to the era of Katharine Hepburn, Bette Davis, Barbara Stanwyck, and countless others. American audience have accepted women as action heroes going back nearly 50 years to Pam Grier, and 30 years to Aliens and Terminator 2, and on and on and on…
What audiences cannot stand are these sanctimonious the future is female lectures that are not “inclusive,” but instead divisive in how they insult and demean men, how they talk down to us, how they hector us as bigoted and unenlightened for believing electric cars are “gay” and our instinctual understanding that anyone — male or female — who runs around with an “empowerment” chip on their shoulder is in reality a humorless, stuffy neurotic begging to be taken down a notch or two by a real man – – a John Wayne or a Robert Mitchum, not a walking vagina who drives an electric car.
And this is just bad storytelling. These moments are going to take us out of the movie and break the spell by annoying us. It’s all so off-putting, and Craig’s run as James Bond is already spotty. Casino Royale and Skyfall were superb, but Quantum of Suck and Spectre were dreadful. And here’s why…
In the past, even the worst Bond movies — A View to a Kill, Die Another Day, Never Say Never Again — are still James Bond movies: all the trappings are still there. Craig’s bad James Bond movies are not James Bond movies, they are bad Jason Bourne movies, and a bad Jason Bourne movie is just a bad movie.
The Daily Mail reports Bond will still hurl some double entendres, which, I guess, is supposed to comfort us. But double entendres coming from a guy who drives an electric car is like a “Live Free or Die” sticker on a moped. Lemme guess, he murmurs them while washing dishes so his wife won’t hear.
This is supposed to be Craig’s final go-around as 007, and he will be no big loss.
Read the whole thing here.
James Bond used to be a character men wanted to be and women wanted to be with. In the current political climate, he’s now neither of those things. He’s even about to be replaced by a female Bond as well.
The synopsis we have currently reads like so:
Bond has left active service and is enjoying a tranquil life in Jamaica. His peace is short-lived when his old friend Felix Leiter from the CIA turns up asking for help. The mission to rescue a kidnapped scientist turns out to be far more treacherous than expected, leading Bond onto the trail of a mysterious villain armed with dangerous new technology.
With James Bond retiring from his 007 callsign in Spectre’s finale, Nomi, a new intelligence agent played by Captain Marvel’s Lashana Lynch will take his legendary 007 label for herself. And as the latest recipient of the 007 number, she will become one of MI6’s elite operatives that ensure world security, and of course she will certainly outshine the aging Bond when No Time To Die calls for the two to team up. I also expect she will be immune to his charms.
If that isn’t enough, another serious flaw in this production was the publicized hiring a surprising name to its writing staff with Phoebe Waller-Bride. The Fleabag star was reported to have jumped aboard in order to flesh out the female characters in a franchise not normally known for handling women well. Craig himself previously called Waller-Bridge “one of the best English writers around” and “f**king great”, while calling the conversation around her sex “f**king ridiculous”.
In a recent interview with the Times UK, Craig responded to the backlash about Waller-Bride’s hiring.
“She has been asked many times about what she is going to do, and her answer is that we’re not really going to change anything,” he said.
“He’s James Bond. But, of course, it’s a different angle to come at…”
But the actor then cut himself off, before adding: “Look, we’re having a conversation about Phoebe’s gender here, which is f**king ridiculous.
“She’s a great writer. Why shouldn’t we get Phoebe onto Bond? That’s the answer to that. I know where you’re going, but I don’t actually want to have that conversation.”
An in-artful response, at best.
This follows Waller-Bridge’s recent response about female characters in the movie when she was asked about her input, and her admitting she wants the female characters to “feel like real people” on a recent podcast:
“It’s mainly about making them feel like real people, which they do in the previous films. I think Daniel’s films have had really fantastic Bond girls and it’s about keeping that up.”
Waller-Bridge also added that she’ll “see what [she] can sneak in” in terms of feminist humor.
It’s starting to feel as though they may have ruined this once magnificent franchise. No Time to Die has a UK release date of April 3, 2020, and opens in the US on April 8, 2020.
Prediction? As usual, get woke, go broke will be in play. Let’s see what happens, but I’m prepared to live and let die.