CBR’s Praises Marvel Comics’ Worst Spider-Man Storylines


CBR, in its modern incarnation, frequently tries to sugarcoat at least a few of the worst modern storylines ever to have soiled Spider-Man comics. This list of 10 storylines cited as iconic does have a few that certainly were well regarded by the audience, but if there’s any story here that’s absolutely awful it’s One More Day:

 

“One More Day” is the most hated and also the most important storyline in Spider-Man comics. This took place after Spider-Man revealed his secret identity to the world after the events of Civil War. His Aunt May was shot when Kingpin ordered his death, and Peter and Mary Jane made a deal with Mephisto to erase his identity from the world.

The story by J. Michael Straczynski and Joe Quesada took Spider-Man’s story back to its roots, but he is now paying for it in the current Amazing Spider-Man run.

 

What do they mean by “paying for it”? That makes it sound as though they’re disapproving of the halfway to reunification story with Mary Jane Watson. It’s also laughable how they assert One More Day took Spidey “back to the roots”, when it merely changed everything to make it look as though he’d always been going through life never married, and at one point, living as a slacker.

 

 

And IIRC, as though Harry Osborn never died in 1993. It’s not hard to tell that when they speak of “important”, they mean as though it were great, when it’s not. That’s some double-talk there alright. And it gets no better with the following citation of an earlier story by Straczynski himself:

 

“Coming Home” is the story that changed everything anyone knows about Spider-Man and his place in the world. While most of his existence, the origin was that he was bit by a radioactive spider and gained his powers. This storyline brings up the idea that the spider gave him his powers without the radiation coming into effect.

The series introduced Morlun, a vampiric creature that feeds on pure people connected to an animal totem, which is what it turned out Peter Parker was. It also introduced Ezekiel, another man connected to the totem, and began the new mythology of Spider-Man’s existence. This story started in Amazing Spider-Man Vol. 2 #30 by J. Michael Straczynski and John Romita Jr.

 

So this mediocre retcon is another slapdash storyline they consider iconic? Uh-huh.

 

 

Morlun was a very cardboard villain, sort of like a low-rent Dracula with a pretty cheap character name to boot, and when Spidey figured out a way to put an end to him the first time (before he inexplicably returned briefly a few years later), Peter took him out much too easily, while a gunman Morlun was keeping as some kind of assistant finished the job, saving Spidey the time and worry over whether he should actually kill the villain himself. All this was apparently just to move from point-A to point-B, with aunt May discovering Peter was really Spidey and coming to terms with it, even though this was one of several moments in the run with elements that were glaringly inconsistent with past continuity.

 

And what was the point of all those alterations to the 1962 background origin with the radioactive spider stinging Peter and giving him his superpowers, making it look as though he were just another in a long line of chosen by fate? Another poor example cited is Spider-Island:

 

If “Maximum Carnage” put all Spider-Man’s friends in danger and changed everything about the symbiotes, “Spider-Island” trumped even that and brought the idea of the spider-totem and those connected to the forefront. A serum was created and unleashed that gave everyone in Manhattan the powers of Spider-Man.

It was then up to Spider-Man and his allies to stop the carnage and bring things back to normal. This event series started in 2011 and featured 32 issues of a storyline.

 

I notice they didn’t mention this was a concoction of Dan Slott’s, and one of the most tedious examples he’d ever written. And if ‘m comprehending this correctly, he retained at least a few ideas originally used under JMS? Well at least that demonstrates how hilariously awful Marvel’s continuity has become; a thing of the past indeed.

 

While it took place in the Ultimate Comics universe, “The Death of Spider-Man” was still one of Marvel Comics’ most important and essential storylines. Spider-Man, a teenager in this series, died while saving Captain America from a bullet and then his Aunt May and his friends from a rampaging Green Goblin.

It was a strong and effective story that ended with a new Spider-Man arriving in Miles Morales, someone who played an important role in the Spider-Man mythos to this day.

 

It may have been an alternate universe line of books, but the pathway to a publicity and diversity-pandering stunt it was all the same. That’s what they consider “strong” about this – it served their weak ideas for how to appeal to POC (along with LGBT ideology), by insulting intellects and acting as though nobody cares about merit and quality in storytelling. Ultimate Spider-Man was one of the last of its alternate universe line to go a decade before, and like other books in the line, it was decidedly something that won’t rank high on history notes when people talk about talented storytelling in the future.

 

 

Yet these are the stories that CBR wants everyone to believe are iconic, despite how obvious it is they won’t age well, and nobody’s bound to be talking fondly about them in years to come, mainly because the writers aren’t even doing them for much more than a paycheck at most. These are merely but a sample of the stories that ruined one of Stan Lee’s best creations, all for the sake of political correctness.

 

 

 

Originally published here.


Avi Green

Avi Green was born in Pennsylvania in 1974, and moved to Israel in 1983. He enjoyed reading comics when he was young, the first being Fantastic Four. He maintains a strong belief in the public's right to knowledge and accuracy of facts. He considers himself a conservative-style version of Clark Kent. Follow him on his blog at Four Color Media Monitor or on Twitter at @avigreen1

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