A Batawang Boomerang Type Thang (NSFW)

*this op-ed includes uncensored images from DC’s Batman: Damned. If you’re easily triggered by male genitalia, click away now.

 

 

The internet was all a twitter over Bruce Wayne’s wang being exposed in the debut issue of Batman: Damned on the DC Black Label series, the first original material from the company’s new mature readers line of comics. Bruce Wayne took off his batsuit and Wayne’s wang was shown in one panel, illustrated by artist Lee Bemejo.

 

According to the Hollywood Reporter:

 

“it was decided later that the nudity did not add to the story and would be removed in future printings. The panel in question was always censored on digital comics platforms. There are still 115,000 print copies out there that do somewhat show Bruce Wayne’s privates.

So what was the point here?

 

Oh yes…speculation…

 

Yeah speculation in book-selling served comics so very well 25 years ago so hey, let’s try it again?

 

No wait. I see. It’s a smoke screen,  a naked opportunity to boost failing sales, and to further ignore confused and disinterested readers.  Create a false impression that “everything is fine” as far as investors might be concerned.

 

No substance

Shock, idiocy and audacity. No artistic or story value.

No plot developments. No character arcs.

No purpose.

No Respect

 

A statement was released by the same ones responsible literally 24 hours after the tome  of “The Feast of the Circumcised Errant Knight” hit the shelves.

 

 

…future issues to be redacted because “muh hypocrisee Blah blah blah… “

 

Fake manufactured news. Rake a bunch of cash. What a surprise.

This is precisely what comic readers need right ?

Cocks and assholes ?

 

What news cousin ?

 

Oh, more useless garbage that divides the readership, embarrasses retailers; more shameless affirmations. All of which is provided ignominiously of course – with a side order of egotistical, self serving and engineered glut for parasites that have no real interest in comic books whatsoever.

 

The usual.

 

What about the actual market?

Fuck them right?

Yes we know, that’s why there is a #ComicsGate.

That’s why they’re here.

 

But hey gang, another comic news site reported from their knees  in a pun and idiom laced shit piece –  that a wordless retailer-only copy sold for 50 bucks.

 

Thanks for informing us.

 

– WHO GIVES A FUCK –

 

Pretend as if it wasn’t meant to happen because we’re all of meager mind right?

 

No, no don’t look at falling sales figures and negative consumer trends this week, last week, the week before that, and on…

 

Nope, nothing to see over here except public dong and proctology shows put on by the Spanish Inquisition –  ironically – truly apt allegories.

 

But the Big Guys will find a way through the eye of that needle, won’t they?

 

Like a boomerang this whole ridiculous and quite transparent public display by the Sultans of Scandal has gone full circle and returned into the hands of its masters. Or rather into it’s masters faces…

 

A  contrived and shameless money shot

 

 

Those “masters” have just demonstrated yet  again, that the only way they can find  to sell their product isn’t with great stories, it’s not with great art, it’s not with innovation.

 

It’s with scandal.

Scandal with employees, with books and with readers.

– Awesome –

 

What tremendous skill must be consumed.

 

The only thing the Conniving Charlatans of Chub are capable of it seems,

as it is with their Allusionary Anal Amigos –

is a confused and slothful ruckus

 

The only reason that a penis would or should matter to me in any way concerning this bird-brained historical milestone would be my disgust. Disgust with gimmickry welded to ideologically divisive mentalities and predatory motives that would put such squandered talent on the shelf in the first place.

 

What a huge partisan pariah the two once-great houses have allowed themselves to become. It’s astonishing to see the level of  willful ignorance “industry” wide – it’s astounding.

 

Entryism and wild projections of eggshell ego is destroying the industry

 

Too bad.

 

Pleasing fans and enjoying a growing,  supportive and vibrant scene is still making money somewhere out there I’ve heard. And so, I imagine it’s only a mater of time before we see a resumption of the repetitive attacks and slander directed at the little folks out here trying to make their way.

 

We’ll see how much negativity is sprayed down upon us from the top of the industry and from those harpies of the comic apocalypse in the coming days. It will probably begin first thing next week now that their transparent machinations have accomplished nothing but ridicule and scorn along with a speculators meager spike last week. Fail.

 

Wicked Wednesday gave us nothing but a blatant double standard from a bunch of self righteous know it-alls who haven’t a clue as to what they are doing.

 

Just ask yourself –

How does one artist get forced off one comic book at DC

for 50 or 60 extra strokes of his pencil,

but another does not?

 

These amoral and lecherous behemoths in this the Age of Desecration have lost all sense of reason, direction, purpose and professionalism.

 

What else can I say?

 

Well I do know one thing;  Frank Cho would have drawn it better,
at least then – maybe it would have had some fuckin’ balls.

 

 

Mike Rogers

Cryo-ed GenXer. Collector of old Edwardian era books and histories. Copper and Dark Age comic collector. Confused and irritated resident of the 21st Century madhouse.